Every bride needs a group of girls she can be confident in: a group of girls she can rely on to help her make it through her bridal shower, planning the bachelorette party, the wedding ceremony, and the wedding reception. These girls are her own personal wolf pack who are there to make sure she’s the star of the show.

Selecting these girls can be difficult. These girls are going to be on this journey with you every step of the way. Here are some tips for helping you to pick your bridesmaids.

how to pick your bridesmaids


If you have sisters, that’s the first place you should probably start. Your sisters know you better than most anyone else does. These are the girls that have been there from the beginning of your journey in life and have helped celebrate all those precious moments.

Unless you just don’t get along with your sisters, it’s important to have at least one in your group of bridesmaids, and in all likelihood, have all of them. These are the girls that you’re going to be able to count on the most for your big day. They know your taste and personality, and will be able to help plan your wedding.

how to pick your bridesmaids

Is Being A Bridesmaid In Their Budget?

Not that they’ll have to spend money on every little thing, but being a bridesmaid certainly comes with some monetary cost. When you’re deciding on your bridesmaids, keep in mind their financial situations (should you be aware of it). It may be unfair to ask a friend or relative to join you if you know they simply can’t afford it. If you’re the type of bride that will be paying for everything, then by all means ignore this factor when you pick your bridesmaids. And if they decide to say yes (so awesome!), there’s always ways to save money as a bridesmaid.

how to pick your bridesmaids

Consider Personality When You Choose Your Bridesmaids

Not everyone has to get along perfectly, but when you’re choosing bridesmaids, make sure to keep in mind their personalities.

There are also a lot of responsibilities as a bridesmaid. Maybe you have a friend or relative who isn’t so good speaking in front of people, or who doesn’t do well in bigger groups. Try and take this into consideration. Just because they have these traits doesn’t mean they’re bad people, it just means that being a bridesmaid might not be to their strengths.

how to pick your bridesmaids

Choose Responsible Bridesmaids

When you’re deciding who you want to ask to be a bridesmaid, make sure you think about how responsible they are. If your friend or relative is always late, never calls back, and goes back on their word, you might want to go in a different direction. You need to be able to rely on these girls from beginning to end, so choose wisely!

how to pick your bridesmaids

You Don’t Need to Reciprocate

Just because you were someone else’s bridesmaid doesn’t necessarily mean you have to ask them to be yours. Sure, it’s a nice gesture, but it isn’t mandatory. Consider how you know this person and how often you still talk or hangout since their wedding. There’s probably a good chance they will be chosen when you select your bridesmaids, but it isn’t written in stone.

If you don’t choose them, be honest with them about your decision. Explain that it was a difficult choice—and that since her wedding, you two haven’t really been spending time together. Explain that you were simply more comfortable asking people who were closer to you at this point in your life.

how to pick your bridesmaids

Set Your Expectations When You Select Your Bridesmaids

Understanding their role is going to vary from bridesmaid to bridesmaid. Some may have been a bridesmaid before and will have a general idea of what is expected, while others may have never even attended a wedding.

It’s important that you communicate your expectations to your potential bridesmaids so that they know the role that they’re getting into. You’ll want them to fully understand all their obligations including any financial ones.

This is one of the more important aspects when you choose your bridesmaids, as it will give them a clear understanding before they commit to you.